Friday, 3 February 2012

Flying eggs, an exorcism and... Kevin Bacon

Today I'm having one of those days in which I'm more random than usual. I believe that's because it's very hot here in Buenos Aires, it looks like it's about to rain any second so it's really wet, the air is heavy and it seems I'm about to melt at any moment; therefore, my neurons are melting too.

This morning, after sleeping like hell at Leo's place and becoming mosquitoes' favourite dinner, I left for my zumba lesson.
As I was walking to the gym I happened to pass in front of one of those new churches which, I think, belong to Jehovah's Witnesses. From the outside it looked like a storehouse with new wooden doors and two huge brown crosses painted on them; one of the doors was opened and you could see about 10 lines of 15 or 20 white plastic chairs, a stage with a book rest and a microphone, and another huge cross on the back. It's not that I stood there and saw all of this, but it's not the first time I happened to pass in front of it.
Anyway, what called my attention was the voice of who I guess was the preacher saying "Leave them, demon! Let them be free!" and people saying "Hallelujah" after that. I was about to stop and peep through one of the windows, but obviously, I didn't. However, as I was getting closer to the corner of that street I could still hear them screaming "let them be free" and "hallelujah, brothers", so I ended up thinking that perhaps they were performing an exorcism? I was crossing the street and was still expecting to see Father Karras or Linda Blair coming out of this freaky church... Two bad neither of them did!

So I got to my zumba lesson, still thinking about Linda Blair vomiting something green and how I had emulated her once I got drunk and ended up throwing up some mint liquor I'd had a few minutes before that, and found out my teacher had based her entire lesson on songs from different movies. So today I got to dance "Footloose" song, yeah, the Kenny Loggings one. I was supposed to dance a bit like Ren (Kevin Bacon's Character), but as you already know, it's difficult for me to dance. So, while my friend looked like Kevin Bacon (who I still envy for dancing like that in final scene from the movie), I looked like Chris Penn, playing Willard while he was learning how to dance (remember "Let's hear it from the boy"? Danced by Ren and Willard?). Yeah, it was painful to watch, but I had a blast!

Then, as I got to my house, at some morning TV show they were talking about silly things adolescents do at school and I remembered IT. The day I almost get expelled from high school.
I know what you're probably thinking: A teacher? Getting expelled from high school? Well, yes, people! I was not Mother Therese, I was one of those students who loved joking and doing stupid things with her classmates. For example, throwing an egg against the blackboard while my Geography teacher was writing on it.
I must say I wasn't the one who threw it, but I was responsible for the idea. That lady was a huge pain in the ass and she was completely annoying. We were about to finish high school and wanted to make something stupid like that. She was the teacher who everybody hated, and we were the class everybody loved.
One day, she was writing on the blackboard and one of my friends threw the egg against it. She stood there frozen, not only because of the banging noise, but also because it had hit it a few inches from her.
After that, she ran away from the classroom, crying and the principal came. He threatened us, told us he was going to expel us all if we didn't say who had done that. We were called to testify in front of him, with our parents, but he never got to know who had the idea or who had thrown the egg. Finally, he didn't expel anybody because he didn't know who had done it, so he "dropped the charges" and we were able to graduate. I can't remember feeling more victorious than that day.


  1. My dad and one of his HS buddies broke into the school the night before graduation and taped all the hammers in the piano together. When the guy got up to play in the middle of the ceremony, every note was struck. The guy looked around confused and then tried it again. He got the same response. My dad busted out laughing and the kid playing started crying.

    My dad and friend were kicked out of their own graduation. The principal threatened to withhold their diplomas, but a school board member walked up and told him you can't withhold graduating for disciplinary reasons. They were handed their diplomas in the hall and told to leave.

  2. I am so impressed that you and your friends didn't rat each other out on the egg incident. Now that is true friendship!!!!!

  3. Oh man, now I can't get 'Let's hear it for the boy" out of my head!!

  4. Brett... I feel sorry for your dad, but it was a funny anecdote though!

    Just Keepin It Real, Folks!: At that point, I was very impressed too! But as you said, it was true friendship

    Vesta: I feel ya. I had the same issue when I wrote this ;)